my name is mud

Image by diegodiazphotography via Flickr

Here we go again.  You would think wouldn’t you that after 7 years the adventures of raising children would become somewhat redundant.  Well, not in my household.  My children seem to have a way to create, unintentionally I  might add, adventures never seen before almost on a weekly basis. It as usual has been a very eventful week, or weeks I should say. Not all of it at the hands of my children.  Oh, no, if I am being completely upfront I must admit that I am quite adept at creating my own adventures.

The week started off with a bang.  I’ve mentioned  before my 2-year-old son’s penchant for coffee grounds.  I had hoped we had passed that particular phase but I was to be proven sadly mistaken when I discovered him hiding with his treasure (a huge tin of coffee grounds).  How he got a hold of it I still haven’t figured out.  Had it not been for the trail of coffee grounds he left for me to follow (through the family room into the playroom, across the couch and over behind the t.v.) I might have had to take him to the hospital for a caffeine overdose – is there any such thing?

Then came thanksgiving, and MY little bungle.  After a wonderful thanksgiving meal with my family at my parent’s house I proceeded to pack my littlest one up and get him settled in his car seat for the ride home (the older two were going to stay for a sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa’s with their Dad that night).  After getting him all settled, I shut the van door and walked over to the driver’s side when I realized I had locked him in and the keys were sitting on the front passenger seat!  Panicked I ran into the house “Call AMA, Call AMA!!”.  While I and about 10 other relatives stood around the van waiting for AMA to show up my little guy just drank his milk and waved and giggled ..awwwww.  I have to give a shout out to AMA for coming so quickly.  I highly recommend if you ever lock your keys in your car that you have a kid, anybody’s kid, locked in there to. Talk about priority service! 

Later in the week while my 6-year-old and I were making faces at each other and laughing hysterically she porked out the biggest booger I have ever seen right  in my lap!   I should have called National Geographic or the Guinness Book of World Records.  There must be some scientific foundation somewhere that would have been interested in that miracle of the universe.  I couldn’t even move, so frozen in disgust I was, and I am used to picking snotty noses but this was absolutely beyond belief.  I waited patiently with bile coming up my throat while my daughter ran to get me the biggest wad of kleenex her little hands could carry.

Then on one of those very rare occasions, yeah right!, when I was having an “I can’t deal with this” kind of day I sent the kids outside to play so I could have some much deserved quiet time.  I don’t worry very much about them outside.  They are fenced in and my oldest is enough of a tattle tale that if anybody was getting into something they shouldn’t be, I’d hear about it.  But I never considered the option that there just might be something SHE would be getting into with them!  After about 20 minutes I thought I should go have a peek and see what they were up to.  At first I couldn’t find them, they blended so well into the background.  Then I noticed 3 little mounds of mud moving in a very un-mud like way and three sets of eyeballs! There they were covered from head to toe in mud.   They had tossed mud up on the side of the house, washed their hair in mud and I think even rolled in it! 

Some of you already know of the “mask” episode.  My 2 girls were up in their room making crafts.  This time I wasn’t home.  My husband was home and in charge and was himself having some much deserved quiet time (anybody see the pattern  here?).  They had cut and coloured some masks and came downstairs to show off their prowess to their father.  Upon closer inspection, he noticed there were no strings on the masks to hold them in place on their face.  When he asked them how the masks were held in place their response was “we glued them”.

And then there was this morning.  I was up early to catch a solo shower (very uncommon in my household).  After climbing out I could hear a bunch of ruckus going on in the kids bathroom beside me.  My husband was asleep in bed and that could only mean one thing!  They were alone in the bathroom….remember, I have had Polly Pockets floating in an inch of water on that bathroom floor before.  I was much relieved when upon entering the bathroom all I saw was one kid on the toilet and the other in the tub apparently playing without the water.  After a stern warning NOT to touch the taps I left to get dressed.  However,  immediately upon leaving the bathroom I heard the sound of water running so back in a stomped with every intention of turning off those darned taps and giving my 3-year-old what for.  Turned out she hadn’t touched the taps….no sir’ee….she was peeing.  That’s right just standing there with her jammies hiked up, peeing ….in my tub!

And thus complete’s my Week in Review (Part 2)……… be continued.